Major Oil Producers Unfracing Wells to Pull Water from the Ground
In an unprecedented move to address Calgary’s water crisis, major oil producers have begun unfracing their wells to extract water from the ground. Despite…
Author: Leaky McPipe
Categories
Water Conservation
New Event at the Calgary Stampede: The Cowboy Thirst Challenge
In an attempt to add a new level of excitement to this year’s Calgary Stampede, and to help achieve water-net-zero in light of public…
Categories
Water Conservation
Shower Shenanigans: How to Sing Shorter Songs and Save Water
When it comes to conserving water, even the smallest changes in our daily routines can make a significant difference. One fun and effective way…
Calgary Plans to Harvest Ice from Passing Comets
In a daring and unconventional move to address the water crisis, Calgary city officials have announced a plan to harvest ice from passing comets…
Categories
Sportsball
Calgary Melting Ice Rinks for Salvage Water: Oilers to Play on Roller Skates
As Calgary continues to grapple with a severe water crisis, city officials have taken an unprecedented step by melting down ice rinks to salvage…
Categories
Water Conservation
City Morgue to Dehydrate Corpses to Provide Water for Downtown Restaurants
In a move that is both shocking and innovative, the City of Calgary has announced that the city morgue will begin dehydrating corpses to…
Crying for a Cause: Emotional Water Conservation Techniques
As Calgary faces a water shortage crisis, it’s time to get creative with our water-saving strategies. Introducing the latest, most emotional way to conserve…
Categories
Delays
Repairs Delayed Due to Excessively Aggressive Micro Badgers
In a bizarre twist of events, repair efforts in Calgary have been significantly delayed due to the unexpected interference of excessively aggressive micro badgers.…
Categories
Water Conservation
The Ultimate Sponge Bath Party Guide: How to Save Water in Style During Calgary’s Water Shortage
As Calgary faces a serious water shortage, residents are getting creative with their conservation efforts. One of the most fun and effective ways to…
Categories
Water Conservation
City Elites Asked to Limit Pool Refills to Twice Daily in Solidarity with the “Normals”
Mayor Jyoti Gondek has requested that city elites limit refills of their personal pool to just twice daily during the ongoing water crisis. This…