Last Tuesday, a group of local fundamentalist Christians gathered to form a prayer circle, fervently praying for a hasty repair of Calgary’s water system. Their prayers were seemingly answered in an unexpected way when shortly after, a hamster was found with stigmata on its appendages, seeping water.

A Miraculous Discovery

The discovery of the hamster, quickly dubbed “Hamster Jesus,” has sparked both amazement and skepticism. The believers tout this as undeniable proof of God’s incredible power. “It’s a miracle! This is a sign that our prayers have been heard,” exclaimed Faith Healer, a member of the prayer group.

The Stigmata Hamster

Hamster Jesus was found with small wounds on its tiny paws, from which water appeared to seep. Believers gathered around the miraculous rodent, praying and giving thanks for the sign of divine intervention.

Skeptics Remain Unconvinced

While the faithful are overjoyed, skeptics have raised eyebrows at the flow rate of the water seeping from the hamster’s wounds. “We would have been more impressed if the flow rate weren’t described as ‘seeping,'” remarked local cynic, Rational Thinker. “A hamster with stigmata is curious, but it doesn’t exactly solve our water crisis.”

A Symbol of Hope

Despite the skepticism, the discovery of Hamster Jesus has brought a sense of hope and unity to the community. “Whether you believe in miracles or not, this has brought us together in a time of need,” said Unity Lover, a resident who visited the prayer circle.

As the city continues to navigate the challenges of the water crisis, Hamster Jesus stands as a symbol of faith and hope for some, and a source of bemusement for others. Whether this tiny miracle will make a significant impact remains to be seen, but it has certainly given the community something to talk about.

Stay tuned for more updates on Calgary’s water crisis and the curious case of Hamster Jesus.