New Hydration Drop Planned: Residents to Collect Water from Air Drop
In a bid to address Calgary’s ongoing water crisis, spare water bombers from Kelowna are being repurposed to drop much-needed water over the city.…
Month: June 2024
Calgary Collaborates with Oil Giants to Spill Oil and Minimize Evaporation
In a bold and controversial move, the City of Calgary has announced plans to collaborate with a yet-to-be-named oil giant to spill oil across…
Categories
It's the law!
Man Arrested for Water Waste Amid Stricter Regulations
As Calgary’s water shortage continues to escalate, the city has intensified its efforts to curb water waste, launching a new “If You See Something,…
Major Oil Producers Unfracing Wells to Pull Water from the Ground
In an unprecedented move to address Calgary’s water crisis, major oil producers have begun unfracing their wells to extract water from the ground. Despite…
Reduced Water Levels in Glenmore Reservoir Lead to New Activities and Shocking Discoveries
As Calgary grapples with its severe water crisis, the reduced water levels in the Glenmore Reservoir have led to some unexpected changes and surprising…
City Waterworks Seeks Pipe Dream Experts to Revolutionize Repairs
In a surprising turn of events, Calgary’s City Waterworks Department is now on the lookout for individuals with experience playing the classic Lucasarts game…
Alberta Dental Association Blames Anti-Fluoride Activists for Water Main Failures
In a surprising twist, the Alberta Dental Association (ADA) has pointed the finger at anti-fluoride activists for the recent catastrophic failure of Calgary’s water…
Waterworld 2 Cancelled Due to Calgary’s Water Crisis
In a disappointing turn of events, the highly anticipated sequel to the cult classic “Waterworld” has been cancelled. “Waterworld 2” was scheduled to begin…
Categories
Uncategorized
Calgary Asks Citizens to Donate Hoses for the ‘Steal Water from Edmonton’ Project
In a bold and creative move to address the ongoing water crisis, Calgary city water planners have launched the “Steal Water from Edmonton” project.…
Categories
Blame the Mob
Salt Bans Enforced in Calgary: RCMP Cracks Down on Thirst-Inducing Foods
In response to Calgary’s ongoing water crisis, city officials have announced a controversial new measure: the banning of salt and salty foods. The reasoning…