Categories
DIY Projects
DIY Project: Repurpose Dog Cones for Personal Rainwater Collection
Looking for a creative and resourceful way to conserve water during Calgary’s water crisis? Why not repurpose those dog cones designed to prevent pets…
Categories
No Sexy For You
Calgary Enforces Mandatory Ban on Showers and Clothes Washing
In a drastic move to address the ongoing water crisis, Calgary city officials have imposed a mandatory ban on showers and clothes washing. To…
Categories
The Big Guy
Local Fundamentalist Christians Pray for Water System Repair, Find Hamster with Stigmata
Last Tuesday, a group of local fundamentalist Christians gathered to form a prayer circle, fervently praying for a hasty repair of Calgary’s water system.…
New Hydration Drop Planned: Residents to Collect Water from Air Drop
In a bid to address Calgary’s ongoing water crisis, spare water bombers from Kelowna are being repurposed to drop much-needed water over the city.…
Calgary Collaborates with Oil Giants to Spill Oil and Minimize Evaporation
In a bold and controversial move, the City of Calgary has announced plans to collaborate with a yet-to-be-named oil giant to spill oil across…
Categories
It's the law!
Man Arrested for Water Waste Amid Stricter Regulations
As Calgary’s water shortage continues to escalate, the city has intensified its efforts to curb water waste, launching a new “If You See Something,…
Major Oil Producers Unfracing Wells to Pull Water from the Ground
In an unprecedented move to address Calgary’s water crisis, major oil producers have begun unfracing their wells to extract water from the ground. Despite…
Reduced Water Levels in Glenmore Reservoir Lead to New Activities and Shocking Discoveries
As Calgary grapples with its severe water crisis, the reduced water levels in the Glenmore Reservoir have led to some unexpected changes and surprising…
City Waterworks Seeks Pipe Dream Experts to Revolutionize Repairs
In a surprising turn of events, Calgary’s City Waterworks Department is now on the lookout for individuals with experience playing the classic Lucasarts game…
Alberta Dental Association Blames Anti-Fluoride Activists for Water Main Failures
In a surprising twist, the Alberta Dental Association (ADA) has pointed the finger at anti-fluoride activists for the recent catastrophic failure of Calgary’s water…