In an unprecedented legal move, the City of Calgary has filed a lawsuit against God for violating outdoor water restrictions by making it rain. The city claims that the unexpected downpour directly contravened the strict water-saving measures currently in place.
Divine Violation
City attorney, Sue Ann Sue, explained the basis of the lawsuit. “We have strict outdoor water restrictions to conserve every possible drop. When it rained, it was a clear violation of these restrictions. We have no choice but to hold the responsible party accountable, and in this case, that’s God.”
The case has been brought to a humorous courtroom setting, where an angelic figure representing God stands accused. The Archdiocese spokesman, depicted with an exaggerated halo and wings, addressed the situation.
Divine Apology and Repentance
Taking a break from his usual “duties”, the spokesman delivered a message directly from God. “God feels awful for the violation and wishes to repent. This was an unintentional breach, and He seeks forgiveness from the people of Calgary.”
The spokesman also announced that God is in need of donations to cover legal fees. “While omnipotent, legal battles are a different realm. We humbly ask for your support in these trying times.”
Community Reactions
The lawsuit has sparked a mix of amusement and bewilderment among Calgary residents. “I never thought I’d see the day when we’d sue the Almighty,” said local resident, Rain Drop. “It’s ridiculous, but it’s also kind of hilarious. He probably had it coming.”
Signs in the courtroom read, “God Violates Water Restrictions: Lawsuit Filed,” and banners outside humorously plea for donations, stating, “God Needs Your Donations for Legal Fees.”
Looking Forward
As the case unfolds, the world watches with bated breath and a good laugh. Whether this legal action will lead to divine intervention or just provide a comedic diversion remains to be seen.
In the meantime, Calgary continues to navigate its water crisis with creativity and a touch of humor. Residents are encouraged to support the cause and stay tuned for updates on this heavenly court case.
